* Sasha Obama discovers George W.'s old hiding spot.

* The angrytownhall Twitter feed exposes the government's socialized fire extinguishing scheme.

* "Just because you are alive doesn't mean you deserve to stay alive." – Well, now that you've put it that way…

* The economic down turn hits the fundamental base of our business community.

* Free torture trading cards? I don't know. That sounds kind of socialisty.

Once upon a time, the citizens of a very large nation began to turn into monsters…

Read the whole thing.

Dick Cheney was back in the news this past weekend, making his case for why electrocuting suspected terrorists in the balls is as American as apple pie, baseball and thumb screws.

If you're not completely clear on the absolute obvious obviousness of his argument, take a trip down memory hole lane and relive the laughs and the tears with Jon and Stephen…

February 5, 2009: Why Are You Such a Dick?

More after the jump.

The Daily Show and Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday starting at 11pm / 10c.

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The Onion News Network panel of experts gets to the heart of this complex and polarizing issue…

See also:
Afterbirthers Demand To See Obama's Placenta
Nation's Unemployment Outlook Improves Drastically After Fifth Beer

The Huffington Post's Jason Linkins might just be a crazy, liberal, paranoid, atheist, un-American, tin-foil-hat-wearing Communist, hippy, craziberaltheist, but I wonder if maybe he's not onto something here…

Around the office, I often joke that the most dangerous time in America is when [The Daily Show] is taking a break. Again, this is meant as a joke! And so, despite the fact that after a summer of delays, the much anticipated torture documents were finally released on the first Monday of the show's hiatus, I think it would be unwise to suggest anything nefarious behind the timing. Right? I mean, to suggest that the torture documents were released to avoid the commentary of one of the media's few, reliable, anti-torture voices… this would be pure paranoia!…

Huffington Post Comedy editor Alex Leo reminds me: "Sarah Palin resigned the first day of his last hiatus." COINCIDENCE?

Why, to believe that, there would have to be some sort of extant example of a government spokesperson or agency citing The Daily Show as a reason to keep from disclosing information… "If we become a fact-finder for political enemies, they aren't going to cooperate," Justice Department attorney Jeffrey Smith said during a 90-minute hearing. "I don't want a future vice president to say, 'I'm not going to cooperate with you because I don't want to be fodder for 'The Daily Show.'"

Hmmmm… I guess we know why Ted Kennedy suddenly decided that this would be a good week to die, now don't we?

Typical.

Torture! It's back in the headlines and hotter than ever! (As in a hot topic, not a popular pastime, though that's not necessarily an incorrect interpretation, if you think about it.)

But why waste your time reading through all the news sources and formulating a well-informed opinion, when you can just let Stephen Colbert tell you what he wants you to think? Just watch these confidential clips, and then you can start drinking early. Just like a senator would…

November 8, 2005: America Doesn't Torture

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

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