The Auto-Tune the News guys are fresh from chillaxin' their main homey Stephen Baldwin at CPAC (Ed note: Huh?) and back to droppin' edits or something. Whatever it is that they do…

I have a feeling this is not what Michael Steele had in mind when he promised to re-brand the GOP has newer and hipper…

Don't you hate, though, how these funny vial clips often make unkind assertions about politicians and leave you wondering if they have any proof to back up their claims. Well, turns out, there's a post for that.

Four House Republicans woke up yesterday and said to themselves, "You know what's wrong with America? There might be a Muslim in the next room right now." Remarkably, this thought coincided with the publication of Muslim Mafia: Inside the Secret Underworld That's Conspiring to Islamize America, an "explosive" book for which a House Republican — North Carolina's Sue Myrick — wrote the forward. See where this is going?

Yep, these footsoldiers in the war on terror have called for investigations into the Council on American Islamic Relations (CAIR), because it's got Muslims palling around with Americans and vice versa all the time, and in professional circles, that's known as spying…

[Reps. Sue Myrick of North Carolina, Trent Franks of Arizona, Paul Broun of Georgia and John Shadegg of Arizona] on Wednesday accused the nation's largest Muslim advocacy group of trying to "infiltrate" Capitol Hill by placing interns in the offices of lawmakers who handle national security issues.

Exactly as it's written in Muslim Mafia, the result of an "explosive" undercover investigation: the author's son grew a beard, got an internship with CAIR and stole a bunch of their paperwork. That's one intern spy right there! There must be more, and they must be up to something…

While the Republicans said they did not know of specific legislation that CAIR had affected, Franks, a Judiciary Committee member, said he wouldn’t be surprised if it was trying to amend the Patriot Act.

Oh no, that wouldn't be surprising at all.

The real shocker would be if it turns out interns are actually capable of affecting legislation.

When I got into the office this morning, I wrote a nice long post about the "How to Take Back America*" conference in St. Louis this past weekend, but WordPress decided to eat it, in much the way that Barack Obama has eaten all of the Bills of Rights and whatnot.

So, anyway, I am not writing that all over again (Too bad for you, because it was an amazing post; take my word for it.) Instead, here's a real quick highlight roundup, on the the off chance that you couldn't make it…

Mike Huckabee recommended sawing off the part of Manhattan that houses the United Nations and pushing it into the sea, because what's with all those non-America countries thinking they get to have opinions about things? I mean seriously…

Oh, and Rep. Trent Franks from Arizona finally let us know who Barack Obama is really trying to destroy: ALL OF HUMANITY!. I gotta say, that's actually a tad more far-reaching of a plan than I thought he'd go for in his first term. But, I guess Yes, We Can and all that, right?

And how could I possibly forget Joe the Plumber winning the coveted Golden Wrench? (That is not even a joke.) However, poor Mr. the Plumber — despite all his honors — still wasn't allowed to change out of his I-just-got-done-painting-the-garage uniform. (I wonder if he'll ever graduate to "real human being.")

All in all, I'd have to say this was the most successful "How to Take Back America*" conference ever. Good job, "How to Take Back America*" conferenceers!

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^{* …from the minorities.}