In today's episode, the crazy lady who thirsts for fame and money and also wants to be President of the United States one day fires off a frothing rebuttal of allegations that she has ever done anything unpleasant ever, made by a guy who's getting ready to begin his career in soft core porn…

During an interview on CBS' "Early Show,"Johnston repeated and expanded upon an allegation he'd made earlier, that Palin refers to her son Trig — who has Down Syndrome — as "retarded."… Palin has issued a statement responding to Johnston…

"We have purposefully ignored the mean spirited, malicious and untrue attacks on our family. We, like many, are appalled at the inflammatory statements being made or implied. Trig is our 'blessed little angel' who knows it and is lovingly called that every day of his life. Even the thought that anyone would refer to Trig by any disparaging name is sickening and sad. CBS should be ashamed for continually providing a forum to propagate lies.

"Consider the source of the most recent attention-getting lies – those who would sell their body for money reflect a desperate need for attention and are likely to say and do anything for even more attention."

How long before they add a an alcoholic dwarf character into the mix, you think?

Now the Alaska state legislature has jumped into the fray by undoing the one positive thing Sarah Palin tried to do for her state: refusing to help reduce energy costs…

The Alaska Legislature voted Monday to override former Gov. Sarah Palin's veto of $28 million in federal stimulus money for energy cost relief. But it was as close as a vote can get.

Reversing a governor's appropriation veto requires a vote of 75 percent of the Legislature, a hurdle rarely met.

And yet this hurdle was met, in a 45 to 14 vote, so now innocent Alaskans are going to suffer unspeakable tragedies like energy-efficient public buildings.

Obviously, this is all part of the master plot to torment Trig Palin with lower utility bills.

You just know that Obama's bunker — wherever it is — is almost certainly laid out with a lot more satin and plush…

And, come to think of it, where's the smooth jazz background music playing on the hi-fi?

Ha, no, I'm not talking about baby-killing. That's ridiculous.

I'm talking about killing one specific baby in particular…

The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s "death panel" so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their "level of productivity in society," whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.

This, of course, is from Sarah Palin's first (!!) Facebook note since leaving office, and if you think it sounds far-fetched, well, you just hold your mooses. Sarah Palin got her information from a very reliable source…

Rep. Michele Bachmann highlighted the Orwellian thinking of the president's health care advisor, Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel, the brother of the White House chief of staff, in a floor speech to the House of Representatives.

Say no more, Sarah. Say no more.

Among the revelations? Sarah Palin is a backstabby nincompoop with the all political skills of a Styrofoam peanut, and her shenanigans gave John McCain's advisers a serious case of the ulcers/"no comments." But what about Palin's second-most scrutinized child, that sweet little baby, Jesus "Trig" Christ?

When Trig was born, Palin wrote an e-mail letter to friends and relatives, describing the belated news of her pregnancy and detailing Trig's condition; she wrote the e-mail not in her own name but in God's, and signed it "Trig’s Creator, Your Heavenly Father."

Egomaniacal? Perhaps. Or perhaps Sarah Palin is just doing God's will, and by God's will, obviously, I mean Sarah Palin's will.

At any rate, this is very good news for Bobby Jindal, who's always wanted to prove that he could beat God in a primary election.

But of course the Chicago Tribune — conveniently located in Chicago, home of gym rat Barack Obama and the svelte terrorists with whom he pals — seized the opportunity to take a cheap shot at the youngest, second-most helpless Palin.

Seems little Trig has been porking it up on the trail, and his figure just isn't what it used to be, har har…

Palin on Thursday granted one of her first newspaper interviews since becoming McCain's vice presidential nominee. She was joined by her husband, Todd, who cradled Trig, noticeably plumper since he was first introduced to the world two months ago.

Why is the mainstream media so sexist toward babies?