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Outgoing Obama aide, Anita Dunn, lauds Jon Stewart and The Daily Show.

RIP Levi's Penis

We have some shocking news about Levi Johnston's upcoming spread in Playgirl.

Palin '09

Watch the best Sarah Palin moments of 2009 from The Daily Show and see how Jon handles this year's great Palin-palooza.

Twitter

November 12 at 4:11PM

Colorado Republican Ready to Stop Obama from 9/11ing The Entire Country

POSTED BY: Mary Phillips-Sandy

fail-whale-failMany people have forgotten this, but once upon a time, on 9/11, hijackers flew airplanes into several buildings plus a field, killing thousands of innocent people. That was a really, really, really, really, really, really terrible day.

Just like today, according to the Twitter account of Colorado state Senator David Schultheis

Schultheis wrote, "Don't for a second think Obama wants what is best for U.S. He is flying the U.S. plane right into the ground at full speed. Let's roll." [...]

"Let's roll" were reportedly the final words of passenger Todd Beamer before his hijacked plane crashed into a Pennsylvania field during the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks. Passengers aboard the flight tried to regain control of the plane and crashed before reaching the hijacker's intended target.

Now, you'd think Sen. Schultheis's apology muscle would be getting a serious workout today. You would be wrong…

Schultheis, who sent the tweet Tuesday, said he was angry about President's fiscal policies, but didn't mean to compare him to the Sept. 11 hijackers. [...]

"'Let's roll.' It's a comment people use all the time. 'Let's get going. Let's move on. Let's make major changes,'" Schultheis said. "I can see it now. But, you're busy doing jillions of things during the day. You sometimes don't analyze every single word."

Well, sure. That's true enough. Thanks for pointing that out, Schultheis, you fucking Bin Laden of Twitter.

(What? What'd I say? Guys, look, the to-do list is out of control.)

November 9 at 8:44AM

A Child's Treasury of Health Care Hijinks from This Weekend's House Debate

POSTED BY: Mary Phillips-Sandy

Congratulations, America, your House of Representatives stopped dithering and passed a health care reform bill — final tally, 220-215. Yay/boo. Now the focus shifts to the Senate, but they'll have a tough time surpassing the amount of crazy that went down in the House during Saturday's interminable debate.

Here is a child's treasury of health care debate hijinks, starting with an actual child courtesy of Rep. John Shadegg (R-AZ). See, Maddie wants patient choice. Maddie does not want her mom's taxes to go up. Maddie/Trig '44!

Oh, there's more.

Read more »

October 16 at 9:00AM

Meghan McCain Fans the Flames Surrounding Her Boobs

POSTED BY: Mary Phillips-Sandy

meghan-mccain-boobs-twitter-vertShe hasn't quit Twitter, but Meghan McCain did need more than 140 characters to talk about why people won't stop talking about her cleavage, which simply wants to be left alone with its Andy Warhol biography.

So it's a good thing she's learned to publish longer groupings of words on the Daily Beast, an internet newsletter that's been adapted for film by Spike Jonze, because this morning we have Meghan's Official Response to Tanktopgate: it is an opus entitled "Don't Call Me a Slut."

Don't call Meghan McCain a slut, you guys. That's lame. 'Twit' is more accurate, and punnier. Here, Meg will explain

To be honest, I don't feel that I have anything to feel ashamed of. I've always embraced my curves and will continue to do so.

Nothing to be ashamed of rack-wise. Otherwise, ?? Also, please note that "embrace [your] curves" is one of the world's top ten meaningless phrases. It is what the ladymags tell you to do on the pages where they are not telling you how to "blast fat," but Meghan McCain wouldn't know this, because she only reads books about art (and Twitter).

It's pathetic we can come so far in so many ways, but when Rep. Aaron Schock or Rep. Jeff Flake post pictures of themselves without their suits on—and their shirts, for that matter—they are proclaimed "hotties."

But put me in a tank top and I am suddenly an embarrassment to the Republican Party and women everywhere.

Actually, I agree 100% with Meghan on this.

Everything except the 'suddenly' part.

October 15 at 12:34PM

Meghan McCain's Cleavage Is Destroying America

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

Blind Item! A certain outtwoken young Republican has been coming under fire for something incredibly controversial she posted on Twitter: the top three or so inches of her upper torso

I wasn't aware of this when she posted this last night, but I do feel as though this morning when I woke up, I was in a different country than the one I fell asleep in. We're through the looking-like-this-country's-stupider-than-I-thought-it-was-glass, people…

After receiving negative feedback from the picture from her night in, McCain recoiled, saying she might quit the popular social networking site.

"When I am alone in my apartment, I wear tank tops and sweat pants, I had no idea this makes me a 'slut', I can't even tell you how hurt I am," McCain tweeted.

This is a real controversy. People were calling her a slut. A slut.  This is a thing that really happened. Like, for real. In this year that we all live in today. For showing cleavage.

The good news is that she at least had the good taste to apologize to the world for foisting her dirty, dirty pornographic picture upon us all…

"I do want to apologize to anyone that was offended by my twitpic, I have clearly made a huge mistake and am sorry 2 those that are offended," McCain tweeted.

This really just goes to show you: The young Republican base she's been championing on television and online for the past couple months really did have her back. They just didn't want her front (and boom goes the dynamite!).

The young Republican movement is on its way! Nothing can stop it! (Except itself.)

.

Ed Note: When I originally posted this, I falsely claimed that Meghan McCain had taken her Twitter account down after following finding this dead account. Apologies for my credulousity. I'm a dumbass.

September 22 at 3:58PM

The Senate Finance Committee Is the Least-Fun Thing on Earth Right Now

POSTED BY: Mary Phillips-Sandy

piles-of-paper-desk
This is not an actual photograph of the amendments that have been tacked on to Max Baucus's health care bill, but it might as well be — there are 564 of them, so far! (I believe legislators do this in order to support their argument that other legislators "have not read the bill.")

Of course, nobody likes Max Baucus's health care bill, not even Max Baucus, who's already announcing revisions

All of his changes, though, would add billions to the cost of a bill whose chief accomplishment was its relative austerity.

That'll go over without any outlandish complaints about Socialism, I'm sure.

Anyway, the Senate Finance Committee is "marking up" the Baucus bill with all its amendments right this very minute, which is reason #4,203,198 why you should be glad you are not on the Senate Finance Committee. (Reason #4,203,197 is "having to sit next to Chuck Grassley while he's Twittering.")

September 17 at 5:58PM

From the Pork Barrel: Antichrist, Superstar

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

* One in twelve New Jerseyans even dumber than you think they are.

* I'll bet I could spend all 24,000,000,000 hours of the day reading through the #michellemalkinmath hashtag on Twitter.

* Orly Taitz is just like an honorable version of Nelson Mandela.

* Is Bill O'Reilly endorsing socialism?

* Consider Philadelphia's two biggest issues — money and cheesesteaks — solved! Thanks, Dr. Phil!

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