In light of Tuesday's elections, one thing is abundantly clear: If you want your boring local election to gain unwarranted national weight and prominence, hold it in an off year. Better yet, don't even hold it in November. Move your deputy county comptroller election to April 2011, and watch it become a bellwether referendum on the future of all carbon-based species.

After the jump, coverage of the election results continues with The Daily Show.

The Daily Show and Colbert Report air Monday through Thursday starting at 11pm / 10c.

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As you've now heard, in last night's two high-profile gubernatorial elections, the GOP candidates emerged victoriously in what was a clear referendum against President Obama. Meanwhile, in the closely-watched Congressional race in New York's 23rd District, voters elected a Democrat for the first time in over a century in what was a clear referendum against President Obama. Where did I acquire such keen political insight? Cable news, of course.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Looks like she did it! Sarah Palin has successfully robocalled her way into a thrilling victory against Barack Obama in Virginia to win the governorship for Robert McDonnell…

The gubernatorial race in the Old Dominion State goes to Robert McDonnell, the Republican candidate and former attorney general. We’re all calling the race for the G.O.P. candidate, with R. Creigh Deeds, the Democrat and state senator, trailing.

Congratulations to Ms. Palin. I think I speak for everyone when I say that we all knew you and your values could do it!

But what happens to Obama now? Does he just resign tomorrow? He's not gonna have to serve out the remaining three years of his lame duck presidency, will he?

Sure everybody gets excited about the Presidential election years. And the midterms are fun too. But for the hardcore political junkie, there's nothing like the midmidterms. You can have your Senate contest, but nothing gets my blood pumping like a good old fashioned uncontested assistant district assemblyman race. Those are where the real action is.

But, if you're a casual wonk (I stopped having casual wonks after I got crabs), there are still a handful of high profile races today.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

I know that tomorrow isn't a real Election Day. But still, we can all pretend. Right?

Right…

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New Jersey Gubernatorial Race – Jon Corzine (D) vs. Chris Christie (R)

Why should you pretend to care?

Like a lot of elections this year, this will probably have less to do with whether New Jersians want to give Corzine another shot in office and more to do with Barack Obama is a Satanist Muslim from Kenya NO MORE TAXES FOR JESUS!! So, you know, I guess we'll see.

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Virginia Gubernatorial Race – Bob McDonnell (R) vs. Creigh Deeds (D)

Who gives a shit?

As it turns out, Sarah Palin gives a shit. She, it would seem, gives a huge shit. The 2012 presidential hopeful has been expending some political cash and releasing her robot doppelganger to go robo-calling Virginites and asking them to "vote for Sarah's principles." Also, if they'd buy her new book, that'd probably be pretty okay, too.

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New York's 23rd Congressional District Race – Bill Owens (D) vs. Doug Hoffman (C)

Can you just sleep through this?

You can, but you'll be missing one of the finest examples of conservative implosions in weeks. This was supposed to be a race between Owens and Republican Dede Scozzafava. But then conservatives decided Scozzafava was — and I quote — "a radical leftist," because they're pretty much cartoon characters pretending to be real people. So, in turn, Scozzafava responded by dropping out and supporting the Democrat. Hi-Larry-ous! This one should actually be entertaining for real.

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New York City Mayoral Race – Incumbent Michael Bloomberg vs. William Thompson

So what?

So, this all boils down to the single most important political question since the beginning of time: Why not just buy this election? The answer: Sure, why not.

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Maine's Proposition 1 and Washington's Referendum 71

What it to you?

Well, it's not really anything to you. Unless you're gay. Or have a gay family member. Or know somebody who's gay. Or just support equality in civil rights and the ideals set forth in the Constitution of the United States.

If not, though, I guess you can just ignore this one.

Here's some free advice for politicians.

After stealing campaign material from your opponent through some kind of weird covert operation, don't go and brag about it on Facebook. And maybe consider not bragging about it anywhere. Because of the whole it's illegal and unethical thing.

If you simply must brag about it, do it on MySpace. I guarantee that won't make any waves.