We've been so wrapped up in the details of health care reform — public options, optional public options, robust public options, public options with a trigger, public options with optional bucket seats, etc. — that we have completely forgotten the most important question of all time: Is any of this even in the Constitution? Anywhere?

The Washington Times is on the case…

Does the U.S. Constitution allow the government to require uninsured Americans to buy medical insurance or impose a tax penalty if they refuse? Congress has never before required citizens to purchase any good or service, but that is what both House and Senate health bills would mandate.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi dismissed the complaint Thursday when she was asked by a reporter if the Democrats' health reform proposal was constitutional.

"Are you serious? Are you serious?" Mrs. Pelosi replied.

No, Nancy Pelosi, are you serious about the Constitution? Is anyone around here serious about the Constitution?

House Minority Leader John A. Boehner said the argument could not be ignored. "I'm not a lawyer, and I'm certainly not a constitutional lawyer, but I think it's wrong to mandate that the American people have to do anything," he told reporters at his own press briefing last week.

Fuck yes, John Boehner! That's what I'm talking about!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta grab the license I don't have and drive my uninsured car the wrong way down this one-way street, because my 18-year-old brother needs a ride home from refusing to register with the Selective Service System.

Whose job does a basic cable host have to stroke to get on Keith Olbermann's Worst Person in the World list these days?

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

Josh Marshall isolates a single sentence from The Washington Times — D.C.'s conservative paper — that pretty much sums it all up…

Extramarital affairs, gambling, alcohol abuse, prostitution and sexual pursuit of minors have taken a toll on the GOP.

Believe it or not, there's actually a full article attached to that sentence. Though, I can't see why that's even necessary.

The Washington Times appears to believe that enough people give a shit about what political chameleon Mitt Romney pretends to think that they've decided to allow him to regurgitate ideas onto the pages of their newspaper…

The former Massachusetts governor will be among those writing a new column in the Washington Times, well read by the party's mover's and shakers.

Editor & Publisher reports that the newspaper says that the "Reinventing Conservatism" columns will "showcase a revolving series of essays by some of today's biggest thinkers in the conservative movement."

And also, apparently, Mitt Romney.

Can't wait to see what Romney thinks that conservative voters think that Romney should be thinking.

Should be fascinating.

The airplane they flew George W. Bush out of Washington D.C. seems to have flown him into an alternate reality. Or, as I like to call it, Texas.

Right now, he's speaking to the kind of cheering throng of supporters that the former president can only find in a place in his home state. (The only station that's showing it is, of course, Fox News.)

He's listing all the fantastic achievements he's achieved during his presidency, and, really, it's making me wonder if I wasn't living in a different country from him all these years.

He did make a few good jokes. Like, when he was talking about what he plans to do in his down time, and he noted that his father is "the first skydiving former president"…

And he's gonna keep that distinction.

Credit where credit is due.

Update: This short article from The Washington Times is best link I can find so far…

Waving cardboard red, white and blue "W''s, thousands gathered in Midland's town square Tuesday to welcome former President George W. Bush and his wife to their post-presidential home in Texas.

"It's a special day, but it's a sad day," said Dudley Winn, a cotton farmer who drove two hours from Lubbock to greet Bush on his first stop after leaving office. "He did the job we asked him to do. He kept our values safe."

Somebody asked him to do all the stuff he did?

Oh, well, that explains it. I thought he was just incredibly incompetent.

The Washington Times ran an interview with Dick Cheney last week wherein the outgoing Vice President talked about things he's done for injured servicemen and women, other than help get them injured in the first place.

[THE VICE PRESIDENT: ]One of the things we've done a number of occasions is to host a barbecue at the Vice President's residence, where we invite in the wounded from Bethesda or Walter Reed, and their families, and provide a meal for them, and invite in usually a country and western singer to participate.  We had Charlie Daniels not too long ago.  Sara Evans has been in, people like that.

Q    No rap.  (Laughter.)

THE VICE PRESIDENT:  No rap, no.  The country and western is sort of a compromise between old folks — you know, the big band sound of the '50s and the rappers that the younger generation understands.  I have trouble even following it.  (Laughter.)  But we — you know, I think we all feel a very, very special obligation to them.

First of all, if there's one thing anyone knows about music, it's if you have a big band fans intermingling with rap fans at your party, country is the obvious compromise. The Mandrell Sisters are essentially the musical bridge between Benny Goodman and Jay-Z. So kudos to you, Mr. Vice President.

Meanwhile, LOL, of course "no rap (laughter)." What a hilarious question to ask. You think Dick Cheney likes rap? How could he possibly find anything to relate to in f-bomb-riddled lyrics about shooting people?