Just take Levi Johnston. Not only is he getting his own not-brave-enough-to-get-naked spread in Gay Fancy Magazine (or something), but he's also having tales sung of his brave adventures by ironic-pianist balladeer Ben Folds, whom, I promise, Levi Johnston has never ever ever heard of.

But what about Sarahcuda? Where's her folk ballad? She's twice the folksy ballaverick her granddaughter's father is. Well, she doesn't get a song; she gets a whole opera!

"Say It Ain't So, Joe," a presentation by Guerilla Opera, opens Saturday at Boston Conservatory's Zack Box Theater. The work is composer Curtis Hughes' musical take on America's favorite moose-hunting winker, you betcha. It focuses on that contentious — and sometimes comical — debate from October 2008 between Palin and Joe Biden…

"It is a tragedy about Palin," he said. "Both characters view themselves as saviors of America. And even though I'm not trying to hammer people on the head with a single interpretation, you know that Biden will triumph in the end. But the central figure certainly is Sarah Palin. I found myself having this odd pathos for her, a pathos I would not have felt if I were not writing music for her."

What an interesting coincidence! I've found myself with an odd pathos for a lot of things for about a year or so now.

Bristol Palin's ex boyfriend and father of her baby, Tripp, went on the Tyra Banks show this week and spilled secrets, including that he thinks Sarah Palin knew the two were together in the biblical sense. This, obviously, did not go over well with the Palin camp who released the following:

"Bristol did not even know Levi was going on the show. We're disappointed that Levi and his family, in a quest for fame, attention, and fortune, are engaging in flat-out lies, gross exaggeration, and even distortion of their relationship," says the statement from the Palin family rep, Meghan Stapleton.

I couldn't agree with Palin family rep, Meghan Stapleton more. This is just tasteless.

If Johnston wanted to spend his time "engaging in flat-out lies" and going on "quest[s] for fame, attention, and fortune," he should have married Bristol and joined the Palin family when he had the chance.

No jumping on the bandwagon afterwards.

Also, John Oliver explains the similarities (fear) and differences (is the fear real or imagined) between supporters at Obama rallies and McCain rallies.

That leaves McCain's running mate, Sarah Palin, who is still in the "reading" phase of her career.

And what does she read, you might ask? No, it's not "The Brothers Karamazov" in the original Russian. But it's quite a list nonetheless…

* Anything by Christian essayist/children's novelist C.S. Lewis. In Palin's words, "very very deep."

* Columns by deceased Runner's World journalist George Sheehan.

* News sources. Specifically ""all of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years."

And not on the list…

* "Daddy's Roommate," a story of a gay couple that Palin marked for banning as a Wasilla City Council member.

* An undisclosed selection of literature from the Wasilla Public Library, whose librarian Palin approached about a book-banning campaign.

* John McCain's Iraq policy. She seems to believe he doesn't have one.

Of course, it turns out that that's not Sarah Palin at all. A reader at Queerty has ID'd the group as Ohio's The Way Christian Church.

But here's the thing: Did this make Sarah Palin seem any kookier or cringe-inducing than she was when we only thought she was a beauty-queening, sportscasting, bridge-to-nowhereing, gay-praying-awaying, Alaskan-independencing, Troopergating, pitbull-lipsticking, the-Earth-is-5000-years-olding, interview-dodging, rape-kit-charging, SNL-on-mute-watcher?

Yeah, maybe, I guess a little. But my point remains: Don't waste your time with Sarah Palin hoaxes. She will out-do you every time.

Now, here's another video that I unearthed today using my expert unearthing skills. And I have officially verified this one. Believe it or not, that actually is the real Sarah Palin.

It's way more nutty than the singing thing.

Both Obama and McCain learned this same lesson earlier in the campaign trail, and now it's Palin's turn…

[Pastor Thomas Muthee] whose prayer Sarah Palin says helped her to become governor of Alaska founded his ministry with a witchhunt against a Kenyan woman who he accused of causing car accidents through demonic spells.

When he wasn't at the Wasilla Assembly of God, "putting his hands" all over Palin (sounds dirty, doesn't it?), Pastor Muthee spent his time accusing "witches" of causing car accidents? It's kind of nice to see a man of the cloth taking such an interest in traffic violations. And personal harassment.

The Wasilla Assembly of God — or WAG as I like to call it — has already caused enough problems for the Sarah-cuda. Early in her national campaign (i.e. two week ago) it was discovered the church had some odd practices…

Church member Caroline Spangler told CNN, "When the spirit comes on you, you utter things that nobody else can understand… only God can understand what is coming out of our mouths."

If Palin adheres to the same religious philosophy, then she probably thinks Charlie Gibson was speaking in tongues. Because she obviously didn't understand a word coming out of his mouth.

In all honesty, I don't think Palin can be held accountable for Pastor Muthee's actions. I grew up going to church and trust me, you can't throw a hymnal without whacking someone touched in the head by the spirit.

Let's resolve to give all politicians one religious wacko get out of jail free card and move on from this one.

The 1990 book by Michael Willhoite — targeted at 3 to 8 year-olds — was apparently singled out by Sarah Palin for banning from the Wasilla, Alaska public library

Witnesses and contemporary news accounts say Ms. Palin asked the librarian about removing books from the shelves. The McCain-Palin presidential campaign says Ms. Palin never advocated censorship.

But in 1995, Ms. Palin, then a city councilwoman, told colleagues that she had noticed the book "Daddy's Roommate" on the shelves and that it did not belong there, according to Ms. Chase and Mr. Stein. Ms. Chase read the book, which helps children understand homosexuality, and said it was inoffensive; she suggested that Ms. Palin read it.

"Sarah said she didn't need to read that stuff," Ms. Chase said. "It was disturbing that someone would be willing to remove a book from the library and she didn't even read it."

Considering that the children’s book is 32 pages long and has one sentence per page, I can’t imagine that it would have taken up too much of Palin’s time. But I can understand her desire to not have to read the kind of graphic filth portrayed by Willhoite. Here's an excerpt from a 1993 Entertainment Weekly review…

No political strife intrudes on this cheerful story told by a small boy who easily accepts the love and stability offered by Dad and Dad's roommate. "My Mommy and Daddy got a divorce last year. Daddy and his roommate Frank live together. When weekends come, we do all sorts of things together," including visits to the zoo and ball games. Dad and Frank are forthrightly shown sharing the housework, fighting and making up, watching TV, and sleeping (just sleeping) in the same bed. The bright, cartoonish pictures have the mainstream-America feel of an Archie comic.

Repulsive! I can only hope that after being forced to think about this garbage, Palin was able to clear her mind by butchering a moose.

How can they report so investigativly about a simple hockey mom who's just looking to turn back the First Amendment and get her kids to school on time?

It's an outrage.

But, hey, none of the real news pundits are talking about it…

Like, on one hand, I know that she's an Evangelical Christian who doesn't believe in evolution or abstinence education. But, on the other, she's a pitbull who wears lipstick for some reason. And being an anthropomorphized dog is a big selling point for me in a politician.

However, everything changed for me when I realized that, as mayor of Wasilla, she decided that rape victims should have to pay for their own forensic tests.

That's a strong, mavericky decision to make, and I can really respect Palin for having made it.

I know that sounds like a really horrible, disgusting, heartless, sexist, reprehensible thing for me to say, but please hear me out.

She's a pitbull who wears lipstick for some reason!

That trumps everything.