The LA Times  is reporting that a Democratic strategist, who regularly appears on Fox News, is coming forward anonymously to tell us that the White House is threatening him to try to get him to stop going on Fox? Is that it? Is that what's supposedly going on here?

The Democratic strategist said that shortly after an appearance on Fox, he got a phone call from a White House official telling him not to be a guest on the show again. The call had an intimidating tone, he said.

The message was, "We better not see you on again," said the strategist, who spoke on condition of anonymity so as not to run afoul of the White House.

This is a completely believable story. I can't think of a single reason to maybe doubt the veracity of this story. Because all the entities involved are so trustworthy.

Fox News: impeccable history of not acting like a propaganda machine. Democratic strategist who goes onto Fox to offer opinions for Sean Hannity to shout down: A good helpful member of the Democratic team. Newspaper accepting anonymous source as being valid: That's a tendency conservatives have never exploited before.

And it makes such perfect sense considering the ass-whooping that the White House keeps giving to Joe Lieberman.

Explaining the program, the First Lady said…

"When we came to the White House, we thought 'wow, we've got the most powerful seat in the land to help be a bridge builder… So we started thinking of new ways to bring new kids in, to have their voices heard, to know that the President of the United States hears you and values you and cares about your growth and development."

And in nurturing that development, the program hopes to offer several life lessons and tutorials gleaned from this administration's rise to power and first year in office, including…

* It's not how well you do your job, it's how poorly the guy you're replacing did his

* Finding places to store your audacious, but unused, hope

* Compromising your dreams: It only hurts forever

Then I just went through those, narrowed them down to the few that I found to be the least intolerable five. Enjoy…

1. The Obligatory Kitchy Retro One

2. The One That Was Made in Three Minutes From a Bunch of Clip Art

3. The One That Your Friend's Sketch Comedy Group ChuckleJuice Made

4. The One That Was Made by Some Kids Who Look Kinda Nice, So What the Hell…

5. The One That Was Made Because Somebody Knew Somebody Who Works at a Gyro Place

Hurray! Now all the problems with health care have been solved! Let's go eat ice cream and not die from curable diseases.

The president, after all, is an unabashed First Guy’s Guy. Since being elected, he has demonstrated an encyclopedic knowledge of college hoops on ESPN, indulged a craving for weekend golf, expressed a preference for adopting a "big rambunctious dog" over a "girlie dog" and hoisted beer in a peacemaking effort.

"First Guy's Guy," what does this even mean? Is the NYT trying to subtext something about Todd Palin? Dunno, bro. What we do know is that there are no girls allowed in the clubhouse when certain things, like the economy and national security, are being discussed. (Well, duh. Girls just shop and release secret cryptographic algorithms all the time.)

More importantly, there are no girls allowed at the golf games Barack Obama plays when he should be working, or playing basketball. Except finally this weekend he let domestic policy adviser Melody Barnes tag along on the links, maybe because as domestic policy adviser she would bring cookies. Wait, no, that's a job for the communications team…

In the same week as [another fucking] basketball game, Anita Dunn, the White House communications director, hosted a group of women reporters for an off-the-record meeting with [senior adviser Valerie] Jarrett over chocolate chip and oatmeal cookies.

And I bet they had a blast, those lady typists, chit-chatting over cookies. It's what they want, right? The White House gals also get to work on health care, and whatever it is Hillary Clinton does, and they throw baby showers for each other. Doesn't mean Barack Obama is, like, afraid of girl cooties…

One Democratic media strategist says that while Mr. Obama does place women in important roles, his comfort level with staff members is not always perceived as equal.

So what? We know separate isn't equal, except for the gays, but the situation here is "non-separate but inequal," which is just what you get for choosing the lifestyle of two X chromosomes, anyway. Besides, Barack Obama is president! We live in post-racial America, and according to everything I've read, sexim is nonexistent even more often than racism is nonexistent, so obviously this is much ado about nothing that exists at all in the first place.

Or something.

I don't know. I stopped reading after I'd kinda gotten the gist.

You see, Barack Obama's campaign communications team (led by Anita Dunn, seen here PLOTTING with David Axelrod), did not simply allow reporters, including those of Fox News, to write whatever the hell they wanted about their candidate. This is unheard of in democracy. A non-Stalinist campaign would simply lead its candidate onto a stage, sit him down, and let the assembled press pool make up whatever fun stories they wanted to, based on his appearance.

But Candidate Obama's nefarious communications generals had a different plan, a strategy known to "insiders" as "controlling the message." These people don't want you to know that they did this, or how they did this, but one Fox News footsoldier marched into the trenches of Google, I'm guessing, and dug up a video of Anita Dunn speaking at a conference earlier this year…

She explained that the campaign favored live interviews so that Obama's words could not be edited — "so that what the voters heard we determined, as opposed to some editor in a TV station."

"Whether it was a David Plouffe video or an Obama speech, a huge part of our press strategy was focused on making the media cover what Obama was actually saying as opposed to why the campaign was saying it," she said.

Chilling! How many more times has Barack Obama covered up his efforts to waterboard the media? Next I suppose Fox News will reveal that those big blue "Yes We Can" rally signs were not the spontaneous handiwork of Real Americans, but were instead distributed by campaign operatives! (I believe that would be grounds for impeachment.)

White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel told rival cable channel CNN's "State of the Union" that Obama considers Fox News "not a news organization so much as it has a perspective."…

Obama's closest political adviser, David Axelrod, told ABC's "This Week" that Fox News "is really not news. It's pushing a point of view."

First of all, their accusations are absurd on their face. Fox News has the word "news" right in its name. It's not called Fox Perspective or Fox Propaganda or Fox Republican Talking Points, right?

Second of all, my Uncle Mitch says that Fox News isn't only a real news organization, but the only real news organization. Are Emanuel and Axelrod accusing my Uncle Mitch of lying? He's a real American patriot; he must have at least twelve flags on his pick-up. How many do they have on theirs?

Fox News, for its part, responded as any legitimate news organization would: by declaring that the White House has declared "war" on them and asking its viewers to vote on why the administration is so mean…

Unfortunately, they left off the most obvious answer option: That it is in the employ of The Devil. Oh man, their ombudsman is gonna be embarrassed.

As of press time, Glenn Beck could not be reached for crying.

Anyway! Turns out Barack Obama has declared war on Fox News, and we know this because his warmongering communications director Anita Dunn spent the past few days complaining that Fox is unfair and imbalanced, so Fox "fired back," get it, with sentence-bombs like this:

Fox's senior vice president for news, Michael Clemente, issued a statement Monday, saying: "It's astounding the White House can't distinguish between news and opinion programming. It seems self-serving on their part."

Surges of words, from both sides! Meanwhile, in the interest of not being self-serving, Fox News is keeping this war as exciting as possible with fun polls, the aforementioned model tanks, headlines about 'escalation,' etc.

So now that I have reported, you decide: what color should our patriotic lapel ribbons be, for this War on Fox News? That sort of purple color Bill O'Reilly sometimes turns?

[T]he White House views this opposition as really part of the "internet left fringe"…

And for a sign of how seriously the White House does or doesn't take this opposition, one adviser told me today those bloggers need to take off their pajamas, get dressed and realize that governing a closely divided country is complicated and difficult.

Oh, George W. Bush just makes me so angry! I hate it when his administration says condescending things like that! Grrrrr… George W. Bush! Grrrrrr… I can't wait until we finally get rid of him and elect a decent president who realizes that people who think U.S. soldiers deserve better than to be fired for their sexual orientation aren't part of some crazy ultra-liberal group. Oh, George W. Bush, why are you still our president!

Oh, wait a minute. I forgot what year it was.

Nevermind. I take that all back. I think we should give the president the benefit of the doubt on this one. I'm sure his aides didn't mean "internet left fringe" or "take off their pajamas" in a condescending way.

And, I'm sure he'll pass some kind of anti-discrimination legislation for homosexuals eventually. I mean, it's not like it's January 19, 2017, right?

Ah, it's good to laugh sometimes…

There seems to be some confusion in the YouTube comments concerning the origins of the word "stratetgery"…

It's a stephen colbert word… not SNL. (joeben81)

It's not a "Saturday Night Live word." SNL used it in a skit because then candidate Bush actually said it during the debate that they were parodying. (ChunAsperEndao)

Oddly enough, for the first time in the history of ever, YouTube commenters have turned out to look dumb, because Gibbs was totally right. It's an SNL word…

The word "strategery" was coined for a Saturday Night Live sketch, written by James Downey, airing October 7, 2000, which satirized the performances of George W. Bush and Al Gore, two candidates for President of the United States, during the first presidential debate for election year 2000. Comedian Will Ferrell played Bush and used the word "strategery"…

However…

After the 2000 presidential election, people inside the Bush White House reportedly began using the term as a joke, and it later grew to become a term of art among them meaning oversight of any activity by Bush's political consultants. Bush's strategists also came to be known within the White House as "The Department of Strategery" or the "Strategery Group."

A February 9, 2001, transcript of a CNN interview attributes George Bush using the term, presumably as an intentional nod to the comedy sketch.

Alright, now that we've tackled that incredibly important issue, I think we can all sleep a little more soundly tonight, safe in the knowledge that we know where a made-up word got made-up.