In the last few months of the 2008 presidential election, the McCain campaign — which tried to make people believe that their opponent was a terrorist because he knew a guy once, chose a V.P. candidate who doesn't read the news, and campaigned with a plumber who isn't a plumber — took a look at the Barack Obama birth certificate "scandal" and decided it was just too stupid for them.

Wow! That's saying a fucking lot…

Sen. John McCain's (R-Ariz.) campaign learned of a lawsuit filed in Pennsylvania that asked the state to strip Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) of the Democratic nomination on suspicion that he was not an American citizen.

The complaint for declaratory and injunctive relief was filed by Phil Berg, a former deputy state attorney general who left government in 1990 for a series of gadfly political campaigns… One lawyer who was doing some work for the campaign was tasked with reading Berg's lawsuit and gauging its chances of success.

"The conversation was along the lines of 'this is idiotic, but explain to me why,'" said the lawyer, who spoke under condition of anonymity to TWI. "I looked at whether the lawsuit was going to be dismissed. I said yes."

I'm not sure, but I think that means that anybody who's still buying into that rumor is eligible for half-price tickets at the roller skating rink around the corner from my house on Wednesdays. But you have to wear a helmet. And you can't bring pizza on the rink.

No exceptions!

Uh oh. Looks like Chairman Obama has been siccing his Ministry of Information agents on Wikipedia to scrub his page clean of all the important, completely-not-conspiratory information about him…

The brewing scandal was first reported by WorldNetDaily reporter Aaron Klein, who noticed that edits adding references to [William] Ayers and [Jeremiah] Wright, among other things, were quickly being undone by Wikipedia volunteers.

Klein found it particularly alarming that a Wikipedia user called "Jerusalem21" was recently hit with a three-day wiki-suspension after twice posting the neutral and encyclopedic fact that there are "some doubts about whether Obama was born in the U.S. "

That was Sunday. Fox picked up Klein's explosive scoop today, noting in the first paragraph that — in contrast to Obama's entry — the Wikipedia "pages for Ayers and Wright are heavily peppered with references to the president."

What?! You mean the Wiki pages for Bill Ayers and Jeremiah Wright — two men who are talked about today solely because of their relationships with Barack Obama — mention their relationships with Barack Obama. But the page about Barack Obama doesn't mention them?

What can they possibly write about on his page if not about Jeremiah Wright or William Ayers? Has he done anything else of importance besides know them?

Well, I mean, besides the presidency thing.

This morning, domestic terrorist and anti-American Chicago community organizer William Ayers entered the Good Morning America sound stage — presumably armed with concealed guns and homemade pipe bombs — and exploded rumors that he and Barack Obama are blood brothers in the fight to destroy America…

After months of silence, the 1960's radical William Ayers sat down for his first television interview on Friday and condemned what he called a "dishonest narrative" used by Republicans to "demonize" him.

"I don't buy the idea that guilt by association should have any part of our politics," Mr. Ayers said, appearing on ABC's "Good Morning America." "This idea that we need to know more, like there's some dark, hidden secret, some secret link. It's a myth thrown up by people who want to exploit the politics of fear."

Yeah, sure. This would be a lot easier to believe if it weren't coming from the mouth of a man who pals around with Barack Obama, a man who pals around with domestic terrorists like William Ayers, a man with a violent past…

"What you call the violent past, that was a time when thousands of people were being murdered every month by our own government. We were on the right side."

Luckily, ABC was somehow able to put an end to interview before Ayers had time to domestically terrorize the studio.

There were no casualties.

(video here)

As cooperative non-rogue-going team player Sarah Palin told CNN's Wolf Blitzer yesterday, she is just so ready to assist Barack Obama with all of these tough challenges that our country now faces which and too, for progress. Sarah Palin just wants to help, gosh darn it.

In her first act of official helpfulness, Palin called for a little sanity in re: one Bill the Terrorist…

BLITZER: And during the campaign, you said this, you said: "This is not a man who sees America as you see it and how I see America." And then you went on to say: "Someone who sees America, it seems, as being so imperfect that he is palling around with terrorists who would target their own country."

PALIN: Well, I still am concerned about that association with Bill Ayers. And if anybody still wants to talk about it, I will, because this is an unrepentant domestic terrorist who had campaigned to blow up, to destroy our Pentagon and our U.S. Capitol. That's an association that still bothers me.

And I think it's still fair to talk about it. However, the campaign is over. That chapter is closed.

That's absolutely right. We can all stop not talking about this. Besides, William Ayers won't try to blow up the U.S. Capitol now, what with his best friend living right down the street.

Obviously, Baratunde and I were the absolute coolest in the last video.

Well, guess what? In this one, we're even absolute coolester…

You know what? When all is said and done, no matter who wins this election tonight, I still have to be me in the morning.

That's not change I can believe in.  

In an article entitled "Level of White Support for Obama a Surprise", the New York Times' John Harwood expressed shock yesterday that Barack Obama was receiving some support from white voters. Apparently, their recent polling indicates that certain white Americans have hinted that they may consider voting for Obama, even though he is an admitted African-American.

Meanwhile, the Los Angeles Times went even further in an article printed this morning claiming that some white voters even like the fact that Obama is a member of a racial minority, and have been inspired to vote for him because of it!

These mainstream newspapers shouldn't be so surprised. After all, we've known for weeks that literally dozens of white people all across the country have announced that they will vote for Obama, including…

* Joe Biden
* Howard Dean
* Rosie O'Donnell
* Colin Powell
* Bill Ayers
* Obama's grandmother
* Karl Marx

The rest of the newspaper's investigations were much less surprising. In keeping with the status quo, their polls found that absolutely no senior citizens, veterans, or real Americans planned to vote for Obama.