They called Ohio for Obama and took it back. Get it together, guys, Rove's in the room.

What is growing on David Axelrod's upper lip?

As yesterday's rallies in Wisconsin proved, a lot of Republicans are angry. Very, very angry…

There were shouts of "Nobama" and "Socialist" at the mention of the Democratic presidential nominee. There were boos, middle fingers turned up and thumbs turned down as a media caravan moved through the crowd Thursday for a midday town hall gathering featuring John McCain and Sarah Palin.

Did I say angry? I meant boiling over with fury.

"I'm mad! I'm really mad!" another man said, taking the microphone and refusing to surrender it easily, even when McCain tried to agree with him.

Rule number one: Never try to come between an outraged man and his microphone.

"Senator Obama has a clear radical, far-left, pro-abortion record," McCain said after being asked about the issue.

The answer prompted a shower of boos from the crowd members. They booed again when he mentioned William Ayers, who bombed U.S. facilities to protest the Vietnam War as part of the domestic terrorist group the Weather Underground. They booed again at the mention of Rep. Barney Frank, a liberal from Massachusetts.

To be fair, that last part is just a local way of honoring the Packers' victory over the Patriots in Super Bowl XXXI.

But seriously, what's the next move for John McCain, he of the bipartisan nature and aisle-reaching-across record? Well, here's the ad he's launching in Wisconsin today…

That should calm everybody right down.

He is if you ask the Republican National Congressional Committee…

House Republicans have launched an ad attacking a freshman Wisconsin Democrat over his ties to embattled Ways and Means Committee Chairman Charlie Rangel…

The ad — the first from the National Republican Congressional Committee — hits Rep. Steve Kagen (Wis.) as having "found a friend in corrupt New York City Congressman Charlie Rangel." The evidence? The $16,000 in donations that Kagen took from Rangel, and the alleged quid pro quo that led Kagen to support a $2 million earmark for a "personal office and library" for Rangel.

Considering that no one has accused Kagen himself of breaking any laws, this guilt-by-association charge seems dubious. Not to mention that most people in Kagen's congressional district — which includes Green Bay and a whole lot of farmland — have no clue whatsoever who Rangel is.

In fact, given the news from this past weekend, the RNCC would do far greater damage to Kagen by linking him to triumphant Tampa Bay Bucs' coach Jon Gruden.

Debra Bartoshevich, the duly elected Democratic Party delegate for Hillary Clinton in Wisconsin who vowed undying loyalty to the former first lady, has been dumped by the state party and barred from attending the Democratic National Convention in Denver next month…

Bartoshevich had such residual anger about the treatment of Clinton by her party that she said come Nov. 4 she was going to vote for John McCain, who is not a lifelong Democrat.

First of all, what?! John McCain isn't a lifelong Democrat? Keep feathers away from me! I don't want to get knocked over.

Second of all, wow! Is that all you have to do to get dropped as a Democratic delegate these days? Vow to vote against your own self-interests for a Republican out of spite because the party decided — through a pre-determined and agreed-upon system of voting — not to nominate your candidate of choice?

Fuckin' Democrats!

"No self-respecting woman should wish or work for the success of a party that ignores her," Bartoshevich told a local journalist. "That's by Susan B. Anthony."

"You're an idiot." That's by me.

On top of that, Obama out-fundraised both Clinton and McCain combined. And he's opened up a 14-point lead over Clinton in national polls…

The poll showed Obama with a 14-point edge over Clinton, 52 percent to 38 percent, after being in a statistical tie with the New York senator last month… Obama also leads Republican front-runner John McCain in a potential November election match-up while Clinton trails McCain, enhancing Obama's argument he is the Democrat with the best shot at capturing the White House.

Cue the backlash shit storm concern troll attack machine… in T-minus-five… four… three… two…

However, now with 58% of the votes tallied and Obama beating Clinton 56% to 43%, it has been confirmed that Wisconsin does not in fact matter. Not at all. It totally doesn't matter.

In light of these recent results, it now seems that Wisconsin matters so little that it's probably better to not win the state than it is to win it. Winning Wisconsin, it turns out, is actually kind of lame. If not lame and retarded. It's a stupid state and Barack Obama can have it if he wants to be all lame and retarded like that.

To date, the only states that do matter in this primary race are Arizona, Arkansas, California, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Oklahoma, Tennessee and American Samoa.

As for Hawaii — in which polls won't close until 1 am EST — it is very much expected not to matter. And of Ohio and Texas — with their March 4th primaries — the former is expected to matter while the latter is right on the fence between mattering a whole lot and not mattering at all.

At this rate, it seems as though the entire Democratic primary race will end up not mattering a lick, and the entire unimportant matter will have to be settled by a few hundred of the Clintons' friends.

This is amazing. It's unprecedented! This will surely usher in a new era of Republican politics. Gone are the days of Goldwater's economic conservative vision. The GOP is now firmly planted in theocratic populism. Can the Second Coming of Jesus Christ, the King of Kings, Lord of Hosts be far behind? Prepare ye self for the impending Rapture!

Oh wait. Nevermind. McCain won the shit out of Wisconsin.

Sorry for that error.

Instead, the mystery men were busy leaving their microphones open. Listen…

"You never have to go to confession again. Right? You're becoming Jewish?"Listen/MP3(9:54 pm, 2/19/08 on CNN)

Wolf Blitzer? Anderson Cooper? Soledad O'Brien? Let the speculation begin!

Update: Mystery solved. (Thanks, chenchen.)

As you probably know, there are primaries tonight in the 49th and 50th states, Wisconsin and Hawaii.*

If you'd like to know what's going to happen in these primaries, we have traveled to the future to bring you back this story (note the past tense):**

Barack Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton squared off in a scrappy Wisconsin primary and in laid-back Hawaii caucuses Tuesday, their struggle for the Democratic presidential nomination veering toward the negative.

Check back here for more detailed results — we'll be back after we kill Sarah Connor.***

*Yeah, we know, the 49th state was Alaska. But isn't it funny to imagine that northern Midwestern state purposely staying out of the union till 1949? No? Well, screw you then.

**Yeah, we know, if you read this later, it'll probably be all updated. But we just think it's weird when these mad-lib-type posts go up before their time.

***Yeah, that's right, we did a Terminator joke.

All three viable presidential candidates (plus Mike Huckabee) did their time in the Badger state over the weekend, attempting to show the natives how much like them (i.e. blue collar, low class) they really are…

Obama is favored to win the Wisconsin primary on Tuesday, but when it came to embracing the state's blue-collar Ya Hey culture, he finished dead last. John McCain spoke at a Friday night fish fry. Hillary Clinton held a town hall meeting in a bratwurst-and-beer joint. Mike Huckabee went bowling.

Obama — who is trying to attract Milwaukee professionals and Madison progressives who find those images hokey — rallied his supporters at the Midwest Airlines Center, a convention hall that also hosted an auto parts trade show that morning.

Because that's where he thinks professionals and progressives like to hang out in Wisconsin… closed down auto trade shows. And he's favored to win?